To Love Again
by darkangel9314
Summary: When a tragic car accident takes the life of Elena's husband Stefan, Elena begins her downward spiral until his brother Damon comes to town and tries to pick her back up again by teaching her to let God back in and to love again.
1. Chapter 1

To Love Again

Chapter 1

Elena laughed at her husband Stefan's joke as he poured her yet another glass wine. They were well on their way to getting drunk and Elena couldn't be happier. It was their anniversary and Elena had finally managed to convince her parents to watch the kids.

Elena smiled at Stefan and gave him a kiss. He smiled and pulled back grabbing his wine glass.

"To my beautiful, sexy, and amazing wife who I can't wait to share 10 more years with."

They clicked their wine glasses together and drank to their marriage. Elena couldn't have been happier if she tried. Elena gave Stefan a kiss as her cell phone rang and she groaned.

"Great. It's my mom."

Elena answered her cellphone and sighed listening to her mother talk about how they needed to go back home. Elena sighed as she hung up the phone and gathered her stuff.

"My parents are too tired. Come on we need to get back to reality."

"Well before we get back to reality. How about one last dance Mrs. Salvatore?"

"I never thought you'd ask."

Stefan grabbed Elena and put her hand on his waist. They danced as Elena thought her life couldn't get better than this. She had the most beautiful house, The best marriage, and two beautiful kids who she couldn't love more. The perfect life with the most perfect moments and nothing could ruin that.

Stefan spun her around one more time before she collapsed into his arms into a hug. He laughed and spun her around in a circle. She smiled as Stefan pulled away and kissed her.

"Alright, let's get back to reality." Stefan said.

Elena took his hand as they walked to the car.

"Are you sure you're alright to drive?" she asked as she buckled her seat belt.

"You know me. We'll be alright."

Stefan started the car as she grabbed one of his hands.

"This was the perfect night." She said.

Those were the last words she said before the semi slammed into their car.

Elena struggled to get her eyes open as she chocked on something that was down her throat. A person rushed to her side and removed what had been chocking her all this time. It was a breathing tube and it had been placed there to help her breath she guessed.

She looked around the room and noticed that she was in a hospital. How long had it been since the accident?

"Elena? Elena, can you hear me?" the nurse said checking her pupils.

"I think I'm fine. What happened?"

"You and your husband were in an accident. You've been in a coma for a whole month."

"Oh my God, my kids."

"They're okay. Your mother and father have been watching them and they've been waiting for you to wake up. Your kids miss you especially."

Elena nodded as she looked around the room. There was something that was missing.

"Where's Stefan?"

"Elena, this isn't the best time to discuss Stefan right now. Your kids have been waiting to see you and I'm sure you'll want to see your family."

"I didn't ask for my family. I know they're fine. I want to know how Stefan is. Is he waiting to see me too?"

"No Elena. He's not."

"Why? Why isn't he waiting for me? Why isn't he with my parents and the kids? What aren't you telling me?"

"Elena, Stefan's not waiting for you, because he's waiting for you in another place."

"Another place? What do you mean?"

"Elena, Stefan didn't make it."

"What?"

"Stefan died on the scene. There was no way that they could save him. I'm so sorry for your loss Elena."

Elena stared at the nurse as her world came crashing down. Stefan. Her Stefan. How could she live without him? And how was she going to do this without him?


	2. Chapter 2

To Love Again

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the poems in this chapter. All rightful poems belong to their respected owners.

To Love Again

Chapter 2

Elena let out a deep breath as she looked at herself in the mirror. Today would be one of the worst days of her life. Today she and her children would be saying goodbye to her husband and their father. She would never again hear his laughter as his kids ran to him for a hug after he would get home from work. Now all she heard was the sound of her kids crying when she told them that daddy would never be coming home.

Elena wiped away the tear that had been forming as she put on her last earring and examined herself in the mirror making sure that she didn't look as horrible as she felt. She wore a plain black dress with the fabric covering her shoulders and her gray heels. Her long brown hair was in a side pony tail and she wore simple earrings that she knew her husband had loved.

She took a deep breath and composed herself as she collected Alexandra and Kendrick from their rooms so they could drive to the funeral home together. Elena walked through the huge crowd as person after person consoled her and her kids about their loss. Elena didn't know how much more of them she could take until the preacher announced the start of the service and she went to go sit in front with her parents and her kids.

It really was a beautiful service. It was everything Stefan would have expected it would be with stories of his life that filled the entire church with laughter. It was during one of these speeches that Elena saw someone that she didn't recognize. His hair was jet black and his eyes were the perfect shade of blue-green that she had ever seen. She thought she knew everyone in Stefan's life, but she had never once seen this man in her entire life.

"Hello everyone. Most of you might not know me, but I was Stefan Salvatore's older brother Damon."

Elena sat there as shock poured through her. In all their years of dating and marriage Stefan had never once mentioned having a brother, but now that she thought of it Stefan never really mentioned anyone in his family all that much. She turned her attention back to Damon and listened to the words he was saying.

"Stefan and I had never been on the best of terms when we were growing up and we never really talked, but the day I found out my brother had died I was torn to pieces. I always thought he would outlive me. That he would grow old and happy with a million kids and his beautiful wife by his side, but god had other plans for him and I came here today to say that yes I do miss my brother deeply, but I am proud of what he accomplished in his life in such a short time. Not only did he successfully run his own company, but he had two beautiful kids and a gorgeous wife who will keep his memory living on forever. So let us not grieve the life that Stefan has lost, but celebrate the one that he did have. I'll be seeing you on the other side my brother." He said touching Stefan's hand.

Elena let her tears fall as Damon stepped off the podium. Now it was turn and she wasn't sure if she was ready to say goodbye, but instead of her own speech she had found a poem that had summed up her feeling about the loss of Stefan perfectly.

"Hello everyone and thank you for coming on this extremely difficult day for me and my little family. I was never really a person who expressed themselves through the use of my words which my husband Stefan knew pretty well. Instead I used poetry to describe my feelings and today I have chosen two poems that are very dear and special to my heart. One of them is the first poem I ever read to Stefan when I wanted to describe my feelings to him and the other is one about death."

She cleared her throat as the audience looked at her.

"This first poem was one I recited on mine and Stefan's first official date." She said with the tears flowing. "The red rose whispers of passion and the white rose breathes of love. O the red rose is a falcon and the white rose is a dove. But I send you a cream white rosebud with a flush on its petal tips. For the love that is purest and sweetest has a kiss of desire on its lips."

She finished the poem smiling through her tears as she remembered how she had handed Stefan both a white and red rose and he exchanged it for their first ever kiss. She folded back up the piece of paper and brought out the other one she had chosen. The one that had broke her heart to print out.

"Do not stand by my grave and weep. I am not there ;I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sun on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the mornings hush I am the swift uplifting rush. Of quiet birds in circled flight I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry. I am not there. I did not die."

The tears flowed heavily now as she stood there in silence and placed a gentle kiss on Stefan's lips as she sat back down in her seat as her children embraced her while her heart shattered into a million pieces.

After the funeral had finished, Elena found herself back at her house where multiple people offered her their condolences yet again and told her that her poems were beautiful. Elena had only nodded before she could take it no longer. She missed her husband and she needed to get out of that house for a while and just be alone.

Elena grabbed her black coat and walked out on the long narrow stretch of road where she dialed the number that she knew by heart.

"This is Stefan Salvatore speaking. I'm sorry that I missed your call, but try to call back later and I'll try to answer as soon as possible."

The message machine clicked off as Elena looked up to the sky and saw a shooting star. She smiled at it in awe. It was the first thing that had made her truly smile since she had gone back home.

"Beautiful isn't it?"

Elena jerked back as she looked at the ground below her. Damon laid there looking up at the nighttime sky and Elena mentally slapped herself for not noticing him before. So much for being alone.

"You scared me." She said breathless.

"Sorry that wasn't my intention."

Damon got up and wiped the dirt off of his black suit and extended his hand.

"You must be Elena. I'm Damon Stefan's brother."

"He didn't tell me he had a brother."

"Well Stefan's not one to brag."

Elena scoffed. Damn he was cocky for a person whose brother had just died.

"I'm sorry that was rude of me. That's just my natural response when people tell me that they haven't heard about me."

Elena shook her head and smiled. Now it was her turn to fire back after all she did deserve a little fun after the day she had been having.

"Not to be rude or anything Damon but it's kind of creepy that you're out here in the middle of nowhere."

"You're one to talk. You're out here all by yourself."

"I was in the middle of listening to something and I wanted some privacy."

"I see. Well do you care to join me in some star gazing I'm pretty sure it will take your mind off things for a while."

Elena shrugged and laid flat down on the ground after all what did she have to lose by just enjoying the stars for a little bit. Even Damon's presence didn't bother her that much. As a matter of fact it was comforting to not have someone talk about how sorry they were for her loss.

"I liked your poems that you dedicated to my brother. They were very nice. I'm guessing they were The white rose by John Boyle o'Reilly and Do Not Stand By My Grave and Weep by Mary Elizabeth Frye."

"How did you know?"

"I appreciate all kinds of poetry. I am a writer after all. "

"Okay Mr. Damon Salvatore. Recite me a poem right now from memory and no cheating."

He laughed.

"Wow that was beautiful. Who was it by?"

"It's by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. It's called 'The Invitation'"

"You want to know something crazy."

"I don't see why not since we're two crazy people lying out in the middle of the road."

"That poem has cheered me up more than anyone's condolences today. I really appreciate it."

She turned her head to Damon and he smiled at her.

"Well I'm glad it can take a little bit of your pain away even if it's not much."

She sighed and looked up at the stars for a while. The night had taken an unexpected turn. She sighed and got up dusting off the dirt from her dirt and jacket.

"I should probably go. It was nice meeting you Damon."

"Great meeting you too Elena."

She smiled as she went back to her reality.


	3. Chapter 3

To Love Again

Chapter 3

Elena woke up in her empty bed and touched the pillow beside her that had once belonged to her husband Stefan. She swore if she concentrated hard enough she could still smell Stefan's shampoo on her pillow. She let out a sigh and bolted up right when the sound of the doorbell startled her.

She threw off her covers and put a bathrobe over her nightie as she headed for the door. She just hoped her kids hadn't answered the door yet. They both knew how she felt about letting people in the house without her knowledge.

Thankfully her kids hadn't woken up yet and she opened the door surprised to see Damon on the other side of it. She smiled to the best of her abilities and he gave her a small smile back. She wasn't sure what to do next. When it came to answering their door Stefan was usually the more hospitable one.

"What brings you to my doorstep this early in the morning Damon?"

"I feel bad for not getting to know my brother and his family before his death. I want to make that right."

"What do you suggest?"

"Have you guys ate breakfast yet?"

"No. Why?"

"I know this really good diner in town. They serve the best breakfast. I was hoping if it was okay with you that I could take you and the kids to breakfast. You know try to get to know my niece and nephew."

"Fine I guess I don't see the harm let me just wake up Audrey and Caleb then we can go."

"How old are they?"

"Audrey is six and Caleb is four, so this will take maybe forty minutes or so. Considering I have to get them ready and all."

"Perfectly understandable. Take your time. I'll wait right here."

"Thank you for understanding."

"It's the least I can do."

Elena smiled and went to go wake up her kids.

When everyone was up and ready to go Damon drove them to the diner Damon was talking about, Elena had only been there a couple of times, but she knew it as a hole in the wall place that served the best breakfast in the city. It had been a while since she had been there and she had never taken her kids to eat here, so this would be a new experience for them.

They were sat down at a table where Damon concentrated on getting to know her and Stefan's kids. She had to admit when it came to kids Damon was a natural. She smiled slightly and partook in a couple of conversations during breakfast, but she couldn't help but feel that Stefan should have been here enjoying breakfast with his wife, children, and his brother no matter how strained their relationship was.

Elena tried to push those thoughts from her mind and enjoy her time out with her family. It was very generous of Damon to offer a way for her and her kids to get their minds off things and so far Audrey and Caleb appeared to really like their uncle Damon. She was glad that her kids could have another grown adult to talk to in their life if they couldn't talk to her about something.

Caleb's face lit up like a Christmas tree when he found out that Damon played football back in high school. Damon agreed to play a game with Caleb a little while later if it was okay with Elena. Audrey had also like the fact that Damon was a movie buff so she had something to talk to her uncle Damon about.

So far everything was going well. When Damon dropped them off he played a quick game of football with Caleb and watched a movie with the rest of them before Elena walked him to the door.

"Thank you for everything Damon. They really needed a day like this."

"I know I can't replace their dad Elena, but if you ever need my help with the kids. Don't be afraid to ask."

"Thank you."

Damion smiled and left leving Elena smiling as she went back to enjoy the rest of the day with her kids.


	4. Chapter 4

To Love Again

Chapter 4

Elena answered the door and smiled at Damon as he lifted up a box.

"What's that?" she asked slightly curious.

"I thought you might want it. My mom and I were going through some of Stefan's old photos so we could make duplicates for you and the kids."

"That was very thoughtful of you. Thank you Damon and thank your mother as well."

Damon smiled making his blue eyes sparkle a little.

"Would you like to come in? I just made a few pot of coffee." She said smiling slightly.

"I would love some." He said smiling.

They made their way to the kitchen as Elena poured Damon a cup and she looked at a few photos as he drank it. She smiled at the pictures of her and Stefan on their wedding day.

"How come you weren't at the wedding?" she asked.

Damon raised his eyebrows slightly as he put the cup of coffee down.

"Stefan didn't want me there. I assumed he would have told you, but then again he never told you about me to begin with."

"What happened to make you two hate each other?"

"A girl mostly. I know it sounds silly but Katherine wasn't just any girl. She was fun and nice, but she turned out to be a complete bitch that wasn't worth it."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't be. I never really loved her in the first place."

"Still it's always horrible when you lose the one you love."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up."

"I'll have to get used to it eventually Damon. My husband is gone and I obviously didn't know as much about his past as he led me to believe."

"He just wanted to stop living in the past."

"A past is what makes a person Damon."

"But it's not what defines them Elena. Stefan wanted a future where the past didn't affect it. I can't blame him for what he did."

"You're a good brother, you know that?"

"I could have been a better one."

Elena grabbed hold of Damon's hand and squeezed. She didn't really know why she did it, but Damon's hand felt nice and warm in hers. She coughed and pulled her hand away embarrassed after all this was her dead husband's brother. She couldn't be thinking those things with him.

"Thank you for stopping by Damon. I really appreciate it."

"Will you tell the kids that uncle Damon says hi?"

"It would be my pleasure."

She smiled as Damon left. What had she just gotten herself into?


	5. Chapter 5

To Love Again

Chapter 5

When the alarm went off that morning, Elena switched it off and got out of her bed. Today was the day she was going to get a new job. One that allowed her to get more time taking care of her children while supporting them. It was going to be diffucult, but she had no other choice in the matter. Not if she wanted a roof over her and her children's heads.

She tossed her hair up into a messy bun and went online to fill out different job applications and posting. Hopefully she would score at least one interview. She had to.

"Hey mommy." her daughter said coming into her room.

Elena turned around and smiled picking her daughter up. She was getting so big.

"Hey sweetie."

"What are you doing mommy?"

"Just looking for a new job."

"I thought you liked your job."

"I do I just need a new job. Sometimes adults have to do that."

Her daughter shrugged as she snuggled her closer. She always loved mother daughter moments like this.

"Mommy?"

"Yes sweetie?"

"Will we be okay?"

Elena sighed and hugged her daughter."

"Yea. I think We'll be."

"I miss daddy."

"Oh baby I miss him too."

she sighed and just sat there holding onto her daughter for as long as she could.


	6. Chapter 6

To Love Again

Chapter 6

Elena dried her tears as she washed her hair in the shower. She had no real plans for today so that meant moping around the house all day while the kids were at Caroline's house. She knew it was a good idea with the kids, but Elena still felt like being around people. She could have called Bonnie, but she knew exactly who she wanted to call even if it was wrong.

"Hello" Damon said. His voice sounding like warm butter to Elena's ears.

They had gotten closer lately and Elena couldn't deny that she had an attraction to Damon

"Hey Damon. It's Elena."

"Hi Elena what's up?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out today. The kids are with Caroline and I really don't want to be alone today of all days."

"What's today?"

"It's the day I met Stefan. I just need something to take my mind off it. So what do you say? Do you want to help a crying girl out?"

"I'll be right over."

"Thank you."

They hung up as Elena sat on the couch. She picked up a picture of her and Stefan and looked at it. She knew that it was a little too soon for this, but she needed to live life. At least for a little while.

A knock sounded on the door as Elena straightened out her clothes and opened up the door to Damon's smiling face. She stepped aside to let him in, but he took a step back.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"You need to get out of the house. At least for a little bit. I know this great dinner at the edge of town and a movie theater right by it that shows really old movies. What do you say? Want to get out of this house for a little while?"

"I would like that very much. Thank you."

"It was my pleasure."

Elena smiled as she followed Damon to his car. She smelled the interior and just took in all her surroundings. She was tired of being half-dead. She wanted to join the land of the living again. It's what Stefan would want her to do.

Damon turned up the radio as she rolled down the windows and just let her hair fly in every direction. This was what living felt like. It wasn't just the big things that made life. It was the little things as well.

Elena turned her head to see that Damon was noticing her and smiled. She was still conflicted about having feelings for Stefan's brother, but the one thing a person could never control was there heart. And right now her heart wanted to be closer to Damon Salvatore.

When they got to the restaurant and placed their orders. Damon and Elena talked for hours about how life was going and even had a few conversations about Stefan that didn't make Elena as upset. She would never get over the death of her husband, but it would get a little bit easier over time.

After they were finished with an amazing dinner and a movie that was too horrible for words, Elena and Damon were walking to the car when it finally happened. That one moment of connection where a person knew that this person was supposed to be in their life.

Elena was discussing the horrible movie and how awful it was when her foot caught on something and she lost her balance. She thought she would collapse on the hard sidewalk, but as she twisted around, Damon caught her in his arms. Their lips were so close that she could have kissed him at that moment, but she knew she couldn't. Not just yet.

"Are you okay?" He said still holding onto her.

She examined the blue of his eyes and there was something about them that made her want to keep her gaze with him. Her heart skipped a beat as she exhaled.

"Yeah. I'm okay. Sorry. I don't know what happened."

Damon turned back around placing her in the right position and ran his hands through her hair to fix it. She had to admit it was good to have someone touch her that way again.

"It's okay. I'm just glad you're alright. Stefan would hate it if I let anything happen to his family."

Stefan's name snapped Elena out of her trance and she took a step back from Damon.

"Yeah. He would. Thank you for being there for all of us Damon. Stefan would be grateful."

Damon nodded as they walked back to his car. Even though thoughts of Stefan still lingered in Elena's mind she knew that she would never forget this night and it was all because of Damon.


	7. Chapter 7

To Love Again

Chapter 7

Elena sighed as she concentrated on her wine glass very hard. She was tempted to have a drink or two, but she knew it would just send her down on a spiral of depression, so she decided to do the only thing she knew how to do. She called Damon to see if he wanted to hang out. She knew this wasn't good for her, but she knew she just couldn't get enough. Being close to Damon was like being close to Stefan all over again and she didn't want to lose that feeling.

After Damon had agreed to come and hang out, Elena ran to the mirror and tried to fix her hair a little bit. Usually she didn't care what Damon thought about her appearance, but she actually wanted to look good today. She sighed at her outfit and went upstairs to change. She had to have something better than over sized tee shirts and mom jeans. She wanted to feel sexy for one. She needed to feel sexy for once.

She picked out a nice sun dress and a pair of sandals that would have to do just as the doorbell rang and she rushed downstaris to open it. She was just glad her kids were with their grandparents today or else she didn't know how she would explain spending this kind of time with their uncle Damon. She threw open the door and gave him a hug. She didn't know why she was so excited to see him.

"Hey. What's wrong?"

"I miss Stefan a lot today. It's not as bad when the kids are here, but their with their grandparents today."

"Say no more. Come with me I have an idea."

Elena nodded as she grabbed her keys and a light jacket and followed Damon to his car. She just wondered where he was taking her. She expected a lot of places. What she didn't expect was Damon taking her to a playground.

"Why are we at a playground?" she said turning to him.

"This is the playground me and Stefan used to go to when we were kids. I thought you would appreciate being in a place where Stefan and I used to go together."

"There are just so many things I don't know about you and him as brothers."

"Some things are better left unsaid Elena. Now come on. Let's have a little fun."

Elena laughed, but wondered what exactly had happened to tear both Stefan and Damon apart like this. She decided to drop the subject for now, but he couldn't avoid telling her forever.

Elena got out of the car as she looked around the playground.

"So how are two full grown adults going to have fun at a playground without looking like total weirdos?"

Damon got closer to her which made her breath catch. Why did his eyes have to be so blue?

"Easy."

He slapped her on the arm and she cried out.

"Ow what was that for?"

"Tag, you're it. Try to catch me if you can."

"Are you serious?" she asked laughing.

"What are you scared?"

"Not a chance." she said tagging him back.

They chased each other around until her foot caught on something and they fell together with her on her back and him on top of her. After her intial shock she looked up into his blue eyes that's when her senses came cack to her. Damon was on top of her and his hand had landed on one of her breast. She felt herself getting suddenly turned on as she felt him do the same she should have rolled away right there and then but she just couldn't stop herself.

She tilted her chin so that their lips were almost touching. It was time for Damon to do the rest. His head lowed and his lips were almost on hers when she felt the water splash both of them. They both got up so fast that the sexual tension was now gone. What the hell had she been thinking?

"Are you okay?" he asked suddenly aware of his surroundings.

"Yeah i'm fine. Sorry I dragged you down with me."

"It's fine. I can take it. Here let me take you home so you can relax and get out of those wet clothes."

If they were on a date Elena probably would have asked if he was volunteering to help with that, but she bit on her lip and followed him to his car. Obviously this hang out was officially over. Why had she done something so stupid? She should feel ashamed of herself, but it still shocked her how much she wanted to kiss Damon. She would just have to see where it went when they got back to her house.

When that happened he turned off the car and walked her to her door.

"Thanks for today. I had fun. I'm sorry though." she said.

"For what?" he asked

"For almost kissing you."

Damon shrugged. " I wouldn't worry Elena. We were just caught up in a moment."

Elena inhaled and exhaled. " Yeah. Yeah. You're right. I mean what were we thinking."

"Yeah I mean Stefan was my brother and you're his wife. I mean we couldn't."

"Yeah."

And before she knew it her lips were on his and her back was pressed against her door. She knew she was drowning in her self grief right now but she didn't care. She wanted Damon. She wanted him. His hands cupped her boobs as she moaned into his mouth. That's what broke him. He pulled away as if she burned him and walked backwards towards his car.

"I'm sorry Elena. I-I should go."

Elena inhaled and exhaled as Damon got into his car and drove away. She went into her house quickly and slid down to the floor crying. What had she just done?


	8. Chapter 8

To Love Again

Chapter 8

Author;s note: I have decided to age Audrey into a teenager to make more sense of the story. I'm sorry for the confusion.

Elena watched the water flow as she sat down letting the shower run. She couldn't believe what she had done. She couldn't believe that she had kissed Damon. Why had she been so stupid? Damon was Stefan's brother. Her husband. Her husband who had just died not even a month and a half ago. Talk about a shitty wife. She should get the top award for that.

The tears flowed as she thought of every important moment she had with Stefan and how she had betrayed him. Sure he wasn't the perfect person, but he didn't deserve this. How could she have forgotten about him so easily? How could she let herself? She took a deep breath and stepped out of the tub wrapping herself in a towel. She had to do this. She had to distract herself and move on with her life. She had to make things right even though she knew she couldn't. She had to. It was the only way she was going to survive.

After she had dried herself off and got dressed, she went downstairs where she found a surprise. Her kids were awake and cooking breakfast. Granted she wished they would have asked for adult supervision before doing this, but it was so rare that her kids did something for herself that she didn't know how to feel about it or how she should react. So she just stood there silently observing them until Audrey turned around and Elena startled her.

Elena sighed knowing that the moment was over and joined Audrey and Caleb in the kitchen.

"Good morning mom." Caleb said giving her a quick hug.

There was obviously something a matter here. She just had to find out what.

"Alright kids. Let's finish this up. I think we need to talk about a few things."

Audrey and Caleb looked at each other as Elena helped them make the remainder of their breakfast. She knew that eventually she would have to confront the no Stefan thing to her kids, but she was still recovering from that herself. She just had to be strong. Especially for the two people who needed her the most.

Once breakfast was all set up, Elena sat down and lifted Caleb on her lap as Audrey sat in the chair across from her. She still wished Audrey felt little enough to sit in her lap too, but she knew Audrey was getting older and didn't want to be treated as a child anymore. She guessed she never really considered how her thirteen year old was coping with this.

"Alright guys. You know you can tell me anything. What's wrong?"

Audrey bit her lip as Caleb looked down. She hated that her kids would want to keep anything from her.

"Are you mad at Uncle Damon ? Did he make you sad?" Caleb said his green eyes trying to make sense of something.

"No sweetie. I'm not mad at your Uncle Damon."

"Good, because we like having him around." Audrey said shoveling a forkful of eggs into her mouth to silence whatever teenaged retort she had coming next.

"Why were you crying mama?" Caleb said.

Elena exhaled and hugged Caleb tightly. She knew she couldn't hold this in forever.

"Well you know how sometimes you miss your daddy and you cry because he's not here?"

Caleb nodded as Elena looked at Audrey. She was obviously holding something back.

"Well sometimes mama misses him too and she needs to cry about it."

"Does Uncle Damon help you mama?"

"Yeah buddy he does."

"Is Uncle Damon gonna be my new daddy?"

Elena sighed and hugged onto Caleb tightly.

"Sweetie, I want you to know that no matter what happens between your uncle Damon and me that he will never replace your daddy. I don't think anyone ever will."

Caleb nodded, but Audrey wasn't as easily convinced. With a loud thud she scooted out of her chair and out of the kitchen. Elena heard her stomps on the footsteps and the loud slamming of her door. Music soon followed blasting in every direction of the house as Elena sighed.

"Is Audrey going to be okay?"

"I don't know buddy, but i'm going to find out."

As soon as she knew Caleb was occupied with his Saturday morning cartoons, Elena walked upstairs and knocked on Audrey's door. She knew she would have to deal with some teenaged angst, but she was well prepared for it.

"Go away!" Audrey yelled, but Elena knew better. She was a teenager after all.

"Audrey it's me. Please let me in."

"Go away mom. I don't want to talk to you."

"Well that's too bad because I'll be outside this door for as long as it takes. I'm not leaving until you talk to me sweetie."

She heard her daughter's sigh and opened the door. Tears streamed down her face as she flopped back down on her bed.

Elena walked into the room and sat down next to her. She just needed for her daughter to be honest with her.

"Tell me what's wrong Audrey?"

"I miss my dad and I miss Uncle Damon."

Elena exhaled. "I know I miss your dad sweetheart."

"No mom I don't think you actually know what i'm feeling. Listen I know you miss him too and you knew him for longer, but he was only a fraction of your world. He was all of mine. He was my whole world. "

"What brought this on Audrey?"

"Yesterday at school Misty was handing out her invitations to her annual father daughter luncheon. I guessed it had slipped her mind that my dad is gone, because she gave one to me and that just reminded even more that dad is gone. There's not going to be anymore dad-daughter luncheons. There will be no watching me audition for cheerleading and theatre. There will be no driving me to games or performances. There will be no seeing me in my prom dress or shooing away boys who ask me out on dates. He won't be there to see me graduate or send me off to college. But what's worse is that he won't be here to walk me down the aisle or to watch me have my own kids. I was robbed of that experience mom and I hate it. I want him back mom. I want him back so bad."

Audrey piled into Elena's arms as she stroked her daughter's hair.

"Oh sweetie. I'm so sorry."

She let her duaghter cry until she had no tears left.

"Mom?"

"Yes Audrey."

"Don't push Uncle Damon away. He lost dad too. I think he's just as lonely as we are."

Elena noded her understanding. Her daughter was right. She had spent so much time thinking about how awful it was to have lost her husband or for her children to have lost their father, but she had never considered how Damon felt after losing his brother.

"Mom."

"Yes baby girl."

"Is it okay if I ask Uncle Damon to this lunch thing. I think it'll be good for the both of us."

She picked her daughters head up and smiled.

"I think that would be an amazing idea."

Audrey laughed as Caleb came inside and joined them on the bed. Elena held onto her little family and cried with them holding onto them for as long as she possibly could.


	9. Chapter 9

To Love Again

Chapter 9

Elena felt like today was the day that changed her life for the rest of her life. Sure her life had already changed drastically, but today felt as if it were a stepping stone for her. She had invited Damon over to talk and she was finally going to talk to him about what all happened. She still felt an attraction to him so intense that she couldn't help it, but she could keep it at bay for at least a little while.

A knock came from her door and she answered to see Damon. She swallowed slightly. He was really a masterpiece in motion, but she couldn't think of that right now. She gestured him in and they sat on the couch. She was glad that her kids weren't around at this moment, because she didn't know if she could do this with them here.

Elena took Damon's hand that was so warm in hers and than squeezed it.

"Elena.-" Damon began.

She put a finger on his lips to silence him.

"No. Please. Let me do this. I-I have to-"

Damon nodded as she kept touching his hand. She had to see if this connection between them was real. Elena had to make sure that if she was going to move on with her life that she was making the right choice.

Her hand slid up Damon's check as she leaned forward. She had to kiss him it was the only way that she would know. His lips met hers and she had to admit this kiss was so amazing. If only she had met Damon before she met Stefan. She would never forget the times her and Stefan had shared, but she had never had a kiss with Stefan like this one with Damon. It was everything to her.

Before she knew it her back was pressed against the couch and Damon was on top of her. It looked as if he was as into this kiss as she was. His hand swept against her bare thigh as he reached the caress of her panties. She had to admit that after Stefan had died she had thought she would never have sex with anyone again. In fact she never thought she would be in this position in the first place, much less with her husbands brother.

His lips left hers and traced the contours of hr neck. She loved every second of this. She felt how much he wanted her and was amazed at how much she wanted him to. Just a few more seconds and he would probably be inside of her. And she would be more than happy to oblige. It was about time she felt something more than pain, but before they could go any further, they both heard the door open.

Elena was thankful that Damon hadn't gotten her naked what so ever, because it was easy for them to spring back up and pretend that nothing happened as her kids entered the room. She sighed in relief as both her children smiled at Damon and took a seat beside him.

They talked to Damon for a couple of hours before they went to their rooms to do some homework. Elena sighed in relief as she escorted Damon to the door. He turned towards her and without hesitation kissed her again., She had to admit that it felt nice.

"If you want me to stay, I'll stay. We can pick up where we left off earlier."

Damon really had no clue how much she wanted that , but she knew better than to do that with her kids around. They just weren't ready for this. Hell she didn't even know if she was ready for this, but it was certainly worth a try to find out.

"I don't think that would be wise, but I do have an idea."

"And what is that?"

"I want to go on an actual date with you."

Damon's eyebrow lifted up, but she was glad that he hadn't protested the idea yet.

"Listen I don't know who I am without Stefan, but I know i'm willing to find out. Stefan would want me to be happy and the only time I've ever been happy again is when I'm with you, so what do you say?"

Damon kissed her lips gently and smiled.

"Of course I would love to."

"So i'll see you tomorrow then."

"Of course I wouldn't miss a date with you for the world."

She smiled as she opened the door letting him go. Elena couldn't believe this was happening, she was finally going on a date with Damon Salvatore.


	10. Chapter 10

To Love Again

Chapter 10

A/N: Hey guys sorry about all the switch arounds when it came to this story. I do multiple stories on my account and sometimes I forget certain details, but the ages for Elena's children are now sixteen and ten and Their names are permanently Audrey and Caleb. Sorry for all the confusion. Now enjoy the story.

Elena felt as if she were a teenager again as she did her hair and makeup for the seventh time that night. It was her first date since Stefan had died and she didn't want to screw things up. She didn't want to go to slow that Damon would lose interest, but she didn't want to go to fast with Damon that she felt like she had been a horrible wife. She already felt like that enough. Was she really doing the right thing by going out with Damon so soon after her husband had just died? Normally she would frown upon such activities if other people did them but now that she was placed in the same situation she understood.

Sighing she put on the last of her mascara on before she looked in her full length mirror inspecting her outfit to make sure it wasn't too childish, but it wasn't too adult either. She had chosen to go with a simple black sheath dress with a black belt, black hoop earrings, a black and white stripped cardigan, and a pair of red heels. Her hair was in a complicated style that her daughter had taught her which she called a fishtail braid with a bun. She had to admit that it was pretty cute even for someone her age.

A knock sounded on the door as Elena looked at reflection one last time, put on some deodorant, and than went downstairs to open the door. Damon stood there with red roses and a big smile on his face. She had to admit that he looked rather good in his dark blue shirt and a black slacks. A little smile came to her lips as she looked into those blue eyes that made her weak before she looked away. Why the hell was she feeling these things so early on. She needed to focus more on making a standard connection first before she jumped into anything.

"Hey." he said giving her a kiss on the cheek.

She was just glad that it wasn't the lips. Sure they had gone a little far the other day, but she really wanted to take things at her own pace and not mess this up. She really needed something stable in her life right now and something complicated was not something she would look for.

"Hey." she said shutting the door.

Footsteps echoed down the stairs as she watched Audrey and Caleb round the corner with curiosity planted on their faces. She hadn't really told them about the date yet, but she didn't want them to get their hopes up either in case things didn't work out. After all why would they? Who would want a recent widow to begin with?

"Uncle Damon." Audrey said throwing her arms around Damon.

"Hey, how are you doing?"

"I'm just glad you're here, because there was something I wanted to ask you."

"Ask away."

"I was wondering if you would go with me to this father-daughter luncheon thing next week. I know it's a silly thing to ask but, you're the closest thing to a father I have right now and I would really love it if you would come with me."

"I would be honored. "

Audrey smiled as she looked over at her mother.

"You look nice tonight mom, but now that I think about it so do you Uncle Damon. Is there-Is there something going on between you two."

"Well your Uncle Damon is taking me out tonight."

"Ooh, so are you two-"

"Stop prying Audrey and go back upstairs. After all I know you have some major studying to do."

"Fine."

"And take your brother."

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" she shouted as she and her brother went upstairs.

"You're too young to be doing anything."

She sighed and looked back at Damon.

"Well I guess we better get going."

Damon smiled as he pulled the door open for her. She smiled and went through the threshold excited for what this night might hold.

Elena sat back on the soft interior of Damon's car just taking all the sights in. She wasn't sure where exactly they were going but she knew that it was good to get out of the house for a little while. It was getting better for her but every now and then she would get a memory of Stefan and break down. She knew that the healing process was slow and would take time, so she wasn't really worried about it, what she was worried about was her fast paced feelings for Damon. Did she really like Damon? Or was she just going out with him because he was the closest connection she had to Stefan besides her kids? All she knew was that she had to find out.

When they arrived at their destination , Damon went to her side of the car opening her door and extending his hand. She took it as he helped her out. She met his blue eyes with a smile as he grabbed her hand. She wondered where he was taking her.

After a minute or so she got her answer. She looked in amazement as a boat appeared in her sight. She felt as if she were in some Nicolas Sparks movie only she hoped this didn't end tragically.

"Oh my God, Are-Are you serious right now?"

"Do you not like it?"

"I-I love it."

"I'm glad."

He looped his arm around hers as they walked to the boat. It was still a little bit away, so they had time to get to know each other a little better.

"So tell me a little about yourself."

"You act like you don't know a thing about me."

":Well here's what I do know about you. I know that your related to my husband. I know that you two had a estranged relationship for a while even before him and I met. I also know that you're great with kids especially mine. You also like poetry which is very rare in a man now a days And I know that you're probably the only one whose made me smile since Stefan died."

"I'm glad that I can be here for you. Well you and your kids."

"I'm glad that they have someone like you to talk to. I know sometimes there are certain things they can talk to you about that they can't talk to me about."

"Like what?"

"Like how much they really miss their dad."

"You want to know what I think?"

"By all means."

"I think that you have two of the most wonderful and amazing kids in the world. I believe that if they are keeping things away from you it's just because they don't want to see you sad anymore."

"I'll always miss him Damon."

"As you should. He was your husband and if you still need time after tonight to heal all you have to do is tell me. I promise I won't disappear just because you need time and space to cope with who've you lost. Trust me I get it my brother was an amazing guy."

"Thank you for understanding, but I would kind of like to see where this goes exactly. At least for tonight I want to be just Elena. Not the woman who lost her husband, because all I need is just some way to cope with this."

"Than by all means, do what you think is right."

Elena smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it. We can just hang out like we usually do."

"No. You put so much work into this date and here I am ruining it."

"You could never ruin anything. And we can still take the boat ride if you want to."

"I would love to."

"Than come on. Let's go. But no funny business or I'm taking you straight home."

"Whatever you say captain."

He smiled as she took her hand and led her onto the boat.


End file.
